After The Anger There Comes Only Pain 
I suppose that it is my own fault. It has always been my policy to avoid friendships with other fans of the bands that I like. It was also my policy not to give a damn what they thought of me or what I had to say. All of that changed when a certain person, who shall remain nameless, attempted to make a fool of me on The Scorpions' message board, not knowing that I am NOT a member of their forum. These people who did not know me at all came to my defense and turned the tables on her. I let my guard down. I began to care. Perhaps, I thought, Scorpions fans were different. Perhaps they were as kind and sweet as the band's frontman, Klaus Meine. I even briefly entertained ideas of joining their forum.
Thankfully, I did not, for when a certain fan who calls himself (or herself, I am not sure which) Manalem happened upon a post that I did on a different blog, he took great offense at it and immediately began to post hateful comments about me on the forum. Mind you, it is quite obvious that this person does not have a firm understanding of the English language, this much was obvious from the bad grammar and misspellings in his post. He thought that I was a man who had been told off by *gasp* Lady Starlight (myself?!). He took what was and still is a lighthearted way of sharing some of my favorite photos of the guys and made it appear to be mean spirited and insulting, mainly by ignoring the context. He didn't notice words like my favorite men or my favorite band. He noticed only my statements about their silly actions or attire. He assumed that I was making fun OF them when I was, in fact, making fun WITH them. There is a big difference!
Never once did he bother to post a comment or tag about the post in question. I would have promptly explained to him directly if he had. Certainly it is very possible that cultural differences caused his misunderstanding of my intent, he is Lebanese, I am American. But, the only way to remedy a misunderstanding is by communication, and he chose not to have any with me. He chose instead to go off to the forum and post hateful comments about something that he clearly did not understand. To make matters worse, many of the other members of the forum could not see past what he said in his remarks to my true intent, and so the misunderstanding continued.
I was angry, and with good reason. Something that was done by me in the name of laughter and love had been turned into something ugly and insulting! I posted several responses to his actions, one here and two on Wenches. I tried to be kind in the first response (which appears a few posts below) here, but my second and third responses were, quite frankly, meant to be insulting to him and his friends. This was very childish and wrong of me. I admit it, but I was driven by my anger. I apologise.
Two days later as the anger wears off, I am left feeling only pain. Chrisscorp, you defended me so passionately earlier, surely you knew that I love Mati, Klaus, and Rudolf! Did you not see my name at the bottom of that post? Could you not realise that I would never insult someone whom I love? Were Manalem's words really that misleading? Was it really necessary for you to insult The Moody Blues, another band that I and the other wenches also love? For that matter, did you not notice that The Moody Blues were also included in the post that you chose to find so offensive? Do you really think that you don't owe, if not me, at least the other wenches, an apology? I thought that you were a better peron than that...
At least one person, Deanne, understood my intentions. She alone stood up for me. For that I offer her many thanks. Alas, even her words of explaination cannot reach through the wall of hatred that you have created.
Although I can dish out the hatred with the best of them when I feel so inclined, as a rule, I abhor hated! And so I feel inclined to reapeat four words that I used once before, not long ago at all:
The hatred stops here!
Lady Starlight will happily remain the outcast black sheep member of the family of spiders. I shall once again build the wall of ice around my heart. For any of you to melt it again will be a difficult task. Not that you care...
I do not care any more, either. Numbness is a good remedy for pain...
But still, something deep in my heart calls out to me. I thought that you were my friends. I loved you. The pain does not go away...
