I am convinced that my new cell phone was manufactured not by Nokia, as the people at T-Mobile told me, but rather, by the devil himself! I have had several clues as to the innate evilness of this of this seemingly innocent electronic device. The first was the loss of my beloved Wind Of Change ringtone. Yeah, I like Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me, but it just isn't the same. It's not Scorpions. It's not ME!
I WANT A SCORPIONS RINGTONE, NOW!
The second sign of the evil within my phone is its similarity of design to my old 3390. You'd think that would be a good thing, but it's not. They made just enough tiny changes in it to drive me insane! (I know, it's a very short drive.) The most annoying of these changes is the addition of two extra buttons to send and end calls. Thanks to those buttons, I was hanging up on my friends all day long. You see, I used to be able to answer calls by pushing ANY button, now I must push the new TALK/SEND button. I would have been aware of this had I read the fucking manual! But I am a lazy bitch, so I did not... Shame on me! But still, it's not my fault that the phone is EVIL!
A final clue to the evilness of the new phone is the inability to turn of the screensaver, a giant display of the current time. UGH! That's ugly! I want my pretty guitar wallpaper to be displayed at all times. I do not care if the image permanently burns itself onto the screen. It's going to stay there forever anyway! The best that I can do is make the screensaver wait for an hour to rear its ugly little head. At this point, I have read the fucking manual, so I know that's all I can do.
Why, oh, why did I let that smooth talking salesman convince me that I needed a new phone?
