Hometown Giggles
Although quite a few of these don't apply to me, I know plenty of people to which they do. Suffice it to say that the word "Yunz" has never passed the lips of the grammar Nazi unless she was mocking one of her fellow Pittsburghers. If you've never been in this area, you'll read this and wonder what sort of freaks live in this area. I have peronally wondered the same thing many times. If you are from this area, you're bound to giggle and nod...
Without further ado, here it is!
| You Know You're From Pittsburgh When... |
You know the time and location of every Wing Night in a 10 mile radius. You know the location of the following towns, know someone from them and have spent time there: Monongahela, Altoona, Bethlehem, Ligonier, Harmony, and Wilmerding. You've memorized lines from the movie "Flashdance". If you're a guy, your biggest fear is seeing your best friend drive into the "fruit loop". You're second biggest fear is seeing him drive out with Kordel Stewart. If you're a girl, you're biggest fear is getting hit on by a hairy-chested man, heavily weighted in gold chains, who refers to his friends as "junior" at Chauncey's. Your latest cultural experience: On your way to partying at Slippery Rock University, having to stop your car to let the Amish buggy cross the street. As your out-of-town friends brag about their latest trips to Europe, you think to yourself, "Polish Hill will suffice." You eat out at least once a week at a mafia-owned Italian pizza parlor. Your father has worked for the same company for over 20 years. You don't see what all the hype is about Disney World when Kennywood is just around the corner. You're having a hard time on where to take your date out for dinner and a night on the town: - "meat on a stick" in the south side and the guzzling IC Light at Jack's... Or splitting an order of "O fries" and guzzling IC Light at Peter's Pub. ' N at' " is eloquently added to the end of every sentence. You've taken deliberate field trips to the Andy Warhol museum. You water ski on the Youghiogheny River Lake. You're more worried about Jerome Bettis's health than your own. You own more than one original Terrible Towel. You don't understand what all the hype is about for Rolling Rock beer. You've been drinking it for years, although Penn Pilsner is better. You consider a great vacation a trip to Conneaut Lake or Lake Erie. For something a little more exotic, a trip to the Jersey shore. You're 35 years old, have never been outside of Allegheny County, and don't see the need to leave. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Heinz ketchup, and the bottle of Trappey's Red Devil you swiped from Primanti's. For the life of you, you can't understand why your all your out-of-town friends don't get the "fries and cole slaw" thing... You have 101 favorite recipes for kolbasi and sauerkraut. Words like: hoagie; chipped ham; pop; and gumband actually mean something to you. You can use the phrase "Firehall Wedding" and not even bat an eye. You walk carefully when it is "slippy" outside. You often go down to the "crick". You have to "red up", before company comes over. You've ever gotten hurt by falling into a "jaggerbush". You know that Ahia is a river, a boulevard, and a state. You've ever "warshed" or "wershed" the laundry. You know you can't drive too fast on back roads,cause-udda-deer. You've drank an "Arn" . You've told someone to "quit jaggin around". You know that Clinton, Monaca, and Beaver, are actually names of towns. You've called someone a 'jaggoff'. You hear "you guyses", or "yins" and don't think twice. You hate Cleveland, although you've never been there. You drink "pop", eat "hoagies", pierogies, and gyros(jy-rows). You know what a still mill is. You can find Zillionopal on a map. You go 'food shoppin' at 'Jine Iggle'. You believe that "Ize" is the abbreviaton for "I was. You know someone from 'Sliberty, E-sliberty, or Wesliberty. You know the Pittsburgh Zoo is in 'Hilinpark' and have been there for school field trips. You know what is meant by "The Point". Chipped ham was always in your refrigerator when you were growing up. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Pittsburgh. |
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