1. You and your worst enemy of the opposite sex were the last people left on earth..? Tee-Hee! Jack and I alone on planet earth! That's quite an interesting situation. You see, although I loathe everything about this man's personality, I also find him to be quite attractive. It might even be said that I lust after him! So... It would seem to me that we should try to put aside our differences and get down to the important matter at hand Repopulating planet earth! Not an easy job for a couple of people in their 40's!
2. Your best friend needed you to lend her a helluva lot of money, but you weren't sure she could pay it back..? I learned a long time ago that there are two very simple ways to end a friendship. The first is to let her borrow my car. The second is, you guessed it, to lend her money. If I knew that my friend had very good reason for asking for the money, and I had it to spare, I would probably give it to her as a gift. If not, I would explain to her my reasons for not being able to give her the money. If she did not understand, then she probably never was really my friend in the first place.
3. You were trapped on a desert island with nothing but a ball of string and a penknife..? Where is MacGyver when you need him?! He'd know of a way to use it to get me home. I suppose that I could, at least cut the string and use it to make some sort of fishing line...
4. Your boyfriend ran over your cat..? My cats are "spoiled rotten house cats." They never go outside. In order for my boyfriend to run over my cat, he would have to drive his car into the house. I certainly do not need a boyfriend who is stupid (or drunk) enough to do a thing like that. The relationship would end on the spot!
5. Your boyfriend and your best friend were both being attacked by giant green monsters but you could only save one of them..? Assuming that this boyfriend isn't the same dumb ass who ran over my cat, he would have to be the one that I save. After all, he could provide me with the companionship that I formerly received from my best friend, but my best friend could never provide me with the sex that I received from him! Sorry, I'm just not that way!
