Brought to you by the ladies at Blogdrive Insanity!
First, a warm up. in celebration of the 1812 birthday of Edward Lear, the man who popularized the limerick, reveal seven things about yourself using the letters N-A-U-G-H-T-Y. One word a hundred words, it doesn't matter - just hump it, baby!
Not the quiet type.
Allows her kids to get away with too many things.
Uses the Hunt and Peck method of typing.
Guy was her maiden name.
Hopes that she receives the new Scorpions CD soon.
Talks too much.
Yellow cars are ugly, in her opinion.
What is up with me and these answers in the third person?!
There's nothing worse than an idle hump. Now that we're warmed up, let's get humping, shall we?
1. You are a character from a children's fairy tale or nursery rhyme. Who are you and why?
The Ugly Duckling. I am still waiting to turn into a beautiful swan...
2. You are a magic potion. What is your main ingredient(s) and what are you used for?
I am a potion that is used by people who want revenge. My ingredients are lemon juice and bitter herbs.
3. Tell us your favorite joke. It can be naughty but clean up the language, puhleeze.
A woman goes into a pet shop to buy a Christmas present for her husband. The owner of the shop tells her of a very special parrot that he has for sale. The parrot is able to sing Christmas carols, or so he claims.
The woman is intrigued by the idea, and asks the owner to bring her the bird for a demonstration.
The owner brings out the bird on a perch, tells the woman that its name is Chet, and explains that to get the bird to sing, you must hold a lit match under one of its feet. He holds a match under the bird's left foot. Immediately the bird begins to sing Silent Night. He then holds a match beneath the bird's right foot. The bird sings Jingle Bells.
Impressed by the demonstration, the woman purchases the parrot for her husband.
Christmas morning arrives. The woman presents the bird to her husband and shows him how to make the bird sing the carols.
Her husband is quite fascinated by the parrot and spends hours lighting matches below its feet, causing it to sing the Christmas carols. After a while the man wonders what the bird would do if a flame were lit between both of the bird's feet. So, he tries it.
The bird begins to sing:
"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."
4. Imagine you're in the Old West. What town character would you be and what would your colorful nickname be? Example: School Marm - Old Widow Maples
A Saloon Girl - Dirty Little Debby
5. You are a mythological diety/god. What are you the god of? What offering(s) would worshippers lay at your feet? If one displeased you how would you smite her?
I would want to be the goddess of love/sex. My worshippers must bring me beautiful men. It matters not whether they are young or old, virgin or not, so long as they are beautiful. Should one of my worshippers displease me, I would take the man of my choice away from her family and keep him for my own amusement!
