All About Cows! Edited from an e-mail sent to me byThe Music Whore
You have two cows. If you live in the good ol' U S of A, one of the following is probably true...
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself, and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.Your stock goes up.
FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best-looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of Democrats from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat, bossy bitch cow from Arkansas.
CALIFORNIAN CORPORATION: You have millions of cows. Most are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
BIBLE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You pray and then you pray some more.Now you have two holy cows.
On the other hand, if you live in Germany the following is probably true...
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
What's this about thirteen weeks of vacation?! That's it! I'm moving. I only get four!
