I know it says that in the Bible, but sheesh, it's becoming damned hard to live by that particular comandment. My intended victim is, of course, "the estranged one." I've had him up to my ears! Try though I might, I just can't seem to get along with him for very long. It's like we're from two seperate planets with totally different sets of rules.
These are some of the rules on Lady Starlight's planet:
1. Automobiles must be driven at a reasonable speed, somewhere near the speed limit or slightly above.
2. Car stereos were meant to play rock music loudly!
3. When one is angry, doors must be slammed.
4. All persons deserve a few hours of privacy each day.
5. The slaughter of wildlife is unacceptable. Killing God's innocent wild creatures is not an assertion of one's manhood, it's cruel!
6. Winding country roads are to be avoided whenever possible.
7. Six year old cars may be parked near other cars and left unlocked on certain occasions.
8. It is perfectly acceptable to have sex with a former spouse.
These are obviously some of the rules on "The Estranged One's" planet
1. Automobiles must be driven slowly. Drive at the speed limit only when the tailgaiters behind you make you so nervous that you must speed up. Exceeding posted speed limits is a capital offense!
2. Car stereos are a means for playing homemade country music CDs. The volume must always be kept at a reasonable level. Cranking it is unacceptable, even if it is your favorite song.
3. Never, under any circumstance, slam the door of the most precious six year old car!
4. Life is all about togetherness...
5. Hunting is manly and FUN!
6. Roads with speed limits above 35 mph are to be avoided. Avoid interstate highways at all costs!
7. The precious six year old car must always be parked away from other cars and be locked at all times.
8. I must remain married to my wife if I want to have sex with her (Even though everyone knows that we have both cheated in the past).
With the rules on our respective planets being so obviosly in opposition to each other, is it any wonder that the thought of murder has crossed my mind?!
