The ghosts and goblins were all out tonight, looking for a bit of free candy. Some of them were very scary, but few were as scary as this...
Yes, that is me dressed as a cheap wild west floozy. You can stop laughing now!
The senior citizens at the high rise got a real kick out of this costme. One lady grinned at me and asked how much I made tonight. I giggled and told her that business was bad, pretty soon I was going to have to start paying THEM! Imagine the sound of old ladies giggling. It's so much fun to bring a little laughter into someone's life!
10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)
I'm back from my weekend in Cincinnati with The Moody Blues which was much more literal than I ever expected it to be! Rather than just regurgitating a bunch of songs from the Moodies' set list, I've decided to add some other songs to the list which define the entire "partying with The Moody Blues" experience. Discretion demands that I do not give the reasons for my selection of the non-set list songs. Those who were there will understand my choices. The rest of you will just have to wonder...
1. Nights In White Satin - The Moody Blues 2. Stepping In A Slide Zone - The Moody Blues 3. Higher And Higher - The Moody Blues 4. Question - The Moody Blues 5. Old Man - Neil Young 6. Hit Between The Eyes - The Scorpions 7. Twice As Hard -The Black Crows 8. In Trance - The Scorpions 9. Tease Me, Please Me - The Scorpions 10. I'm Sorry - Justin Hayward
And now for the picture...
Left to right: Me, Graeme Edge, Bernie Barlow, Andrea, Norda Mullen, Cheryl
1. Nightmare Avenue - The Scorpions 2. Stepping In A Slide Zone - The Moody Blues 3. Welcome To My Nightmare - Alice Cooper 4. Voodoo - Godsmack 5. Haunted - The Moody Blues
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Thursday, October 27, 2005
Go West, Lady Starlight!
The countdown has begun! In a little more than twenty-four hours Andrea and I shall be heading farther west than I have ever been, to Cincinnati, Ohio. (I've been to Europe and Africa, but I've done very little traveling in my own country!) At the end of our journey lies one thing...
The Moody Blues! This will be our sixth show in the last two years. I must confess, I'm feeling excited.
There are many things that need to be done before we depart on Saturday morning. I feel a bit overwhelmed. To help myself out, I've decided to create a little "to do" list.
1. Decide what clothing I would like to wear while away and get it packed!
2. Wash that gray right out of my hair!
3. Get my shaggy mop cut!
4. Buy travel munchies for the road trip.
5. Wash and dry a few loads of laundry.
6. Do a bit of extra excercise at Curves.
7. Bake the jack-o-lantern cake with Mike.
This list is a bit lengthier than I'd like. I hope that I get most of it done!
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Someone Call A Cop!
I was driving home from work when it happened. It was one of those things that just annoys the shit out of me. As I approached an upcoming intersection, some idiot drove straight through the stop sign there. He did not even pause or slow down. He just zipped right through. Guess what that idiot was driving... The local police car!
Grrrr... Someone give me a flashing light and a siren! I want to pull that son of a bitch over. I want to give him a lecture on safe driving. I want to make him sit and squirm in his car for at least twenty minutes while I check his driving credentials. I want to slap the bastard with a hundred dollar fine. Surely I am justified in my desire. This is what he would have done to me, had I been the one running the stop sign.
Geez, Mr. Charleroi Policeman. Were you afraid that someone was going to eat your doughnuts?
Maybe some beautiful Hump Day Hunks will calm me...
Yep, I feel better now!
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
101 Things To Do With Matthias Jabs
In honor of his birthday today, I offer this list of 101 fun things that I'd like to do with him.
~ Warning ~
This post is NOT for the prudish. If you are a prude, please leave now!
1. Math tutoring, because Matthias made a statement in an interview about two years ago that leads me to believe that he could use some.
2. Visit Australia. Matthias has never been there and he'd really like to go.
3. Guitar lessons. For me, of course. I wanna learn how to play like that!
4. Learn to speak German. He could teach me some very useful phrases, I'm sure!
5. Throw his many baseball caps into the Monongahela River, or the Atlantic Ocean, or any large body of water which happens to be nearby. There's nothing wrong with your hair, Mati! You look absolutely beautiful without them.
6. Go shopping. Matthias needs some new shirts. He's been wearing this black beauty for far too long!
7. Write a song together and collaborate on the lyrics. Perhaps together we could come up with something better than "feelings of tainted love."
8. Remove his foot from his mouth when he inevitably says something he shouldn't in an interview.
9. Let him talk on and on for hours about anything! I'll just listen. That German accent is sooooo sexy!
10. Oktoberfest! A good opportunity to get him drunk and take advantage of him.
11. Take him on an eating tour of Pennsylvania's finest Italian restaurants since he is fond of Italian food.
12. Pop some popcorn and watch my DVD of 2001: A Space Oddessey, his favorite movie.
13. Have him introduce me to his friends, Klaus, Rudolf, James, and Pawel.
14. One woman, one man acousical jam! Let's bust out those guitars and play together!
15. Explore his vast collection of guitars. I've always wanted to play something with the word "Gibson" printed on it!
16. Paint those lovely leather pants on him, or pour him into them, whichever works the best!
17. Run my fingers trough his lovely long locks. Beg him never to crop them short ever again!
19. Gently remove his foot from his mouth when he is through.
20. Go guitar shopping! See how many I can convince him to buy for me.
21. Sing Baby Blue Eyes for him.
22. Ask him why HE has never posed fo Playgirl, since Rudolf Schenker already has...
23. Take some photographs of him that the magazine might want to use!
24. Ask him how he really feels about a certain guitar player's magazine that decided that Uli Jon Roth was a better metal guitarist than he is.
24. Listen to him rant... Oooo... It's that sexy German accent again!
25. Agree with every word he says, just to keep him talking.
26. Help him to remove all of the unnecessary buttons from his shirts by biting them off, while he's wearing them!
26. Ask him what the people on the east coast of The United States have done to offend his band, since their tour totally neglected everything east of the Mississippi!
27. Give him my vast collection of unmated earrings.
28. Ask him if he names his guitars. If he does, find out the names of each and every one. If he does not, name them for him.
29. Introduce him to Klaus, Rudolf, Matthias, and Blackie, my guitars!
30. Have him help me find Mildred and Gregg, my two missing guitars.
31. Give him a can of Rolling Rock beer.
32. Laugh hysterically at the faces he makes upon tasting it!
33. Teach him the joy of American football by taking him to a Steelers game.
34. Take him to Motordrome Speedway and introduce him to the joy of NASCAR racing!
35. Go to karaoke night at Hey Andy's and make him sing Rock You Like A Hurricane. Giggle because he can't sing...
36. Ask him if he can still do this...
37. If he says yes, force him to demonstrate!
38. Dress him up in a suit, white shirt and tie, because I want to see what that looks like.
39. Have fun removing the aforementioned outfit from his body after admiring him for a while.
40. Share a plate of spaghetti with him. Eat it in the same way that the dogs did in Lady And The Tramp.
41. Take him to bingo. Watch him squirm as the ladies there ask him stupid questions like, "Do they have Bingo in Germany?" Trust me, they will do this. I know from experience. And the answer to the question is, "Yes, but they call it by a different name."
42. Take him shopping for some underwear. He needs some!
43. Make him put it on immediately, lest his tell-tale trouser bulge causes me to drown in a vast puddle of estrogen.
44. Send him on a tea buying expedition. Blood red tea, made from strange berries which I am told are only available in Germany.
45. Take him to a Halloween party. Make him dress in drag! He'd be pretty, don'cha think?!
46. Take him out for green beer on St. Patrick's Day.
47. Start a bonfire. Use these hideous pants for kindling!
48. Teach him to shave properly. * See the above photo *
49. Let him make all of the silly faces he wants, and take plenty of pictures for use in my Silly Sunday posts, of course!
50. Buy him a cowboy hat, then make him wear it so that I can "ride the cowboy!"
51. Eat whipped cream, cherries, and chocolate sauce.... using his body as a serving dish!
52. Performing under those hot stage lights is such a sweaty business. I think that I should help him out by licking him clean!
53. If my "kitty bath" is not sufficient, I'm quite certain we could have some fun together in the shower!
54. Help him to learn all about my job by playing "post office!"
55. Twenty-four hour sex marathon!
56. Grab those tight little buns of his and SQUEEZE!
57. Handcuff him to my bed and have my way with him. No fuzzy cuffs for you, Mati! I like it rough!
58. Tease him. Please him!
59. Take him to the Tiki Lounge to get "leied!"
60. Snuggle up with him and his fishie scarf...
61. Explain to him that while it is perfectly acceptable to screw a skank, it is NOT acceptable to marry one.
62. Shaving or waxing? Ask him to explain the mysteriously disappearing chest hair.
63. See if he can get me a deal on my dream car, which I have discovered to be a Volkswagen Passaat, since his band has done promotions for the company.
64. If he gets me a deal on that car, test the comfort quotient of the back seat for certain activities.
65. If not perform the "comfort test" in Candace.
66. Perform the same test in his car.
67. Ask him to point out his hand in the No One Like You video. I want to know which inmate he was.
68. Assure him that I won't make no promises that my body can't keep.
69. Sixty-nine, of course!
70. Bow down and worship at the temple of his body.
71. Have him recommend some good new bands, so that I don't have to listen to crap to find them.
72. Find out exactly how deep and dark it is deep down in his heart.
73. Recreate the cover photo of this album with him.
74. Have him take me to Vegas for my *cough* birthday, since I was unable to attend his band's show there on that date last year.
75. Tickle, tickle!
76. BE his "explorer" by exploring every inch of his body with my fingers.
77. Repeat the above process with my tongue!
78. Find out what exactly it was that put this expression on his face.
79. Find out what those things are on that favorite black shirt of his.
80. Go off to California with him in search of former bandmate Ralph Rieckermann.
81. Ask him together about those supposed solo projects of his.
82. Show him some more appropriate places to put sunglasses when not being worn.
83. Love him Sunday morning, and Monday, and Tuesday...
84. Take him down Nightmare Avenue. I'm sure I can find one somewhere.
85. Take him on The Phantom's Revenge at Kennywood to see if he screams.
86. Explain to him that it is not good fashion sense to wear a baseball cap with an Armani suit!
87. Ask him what Klaus did to him after he heard him say that he squeaked in a certain VH1 interview.
88. Eighty-eight. Just another name for sixty-nine!
89. Take him to Atlantic City in search of possible venues where his band can play.
90. See how much of his money we can lose in the slot machines there.
91. Take him to the beach. I wanna see him in his swimmers!
92. Do yet another version of the Rock You Like A Hurricane video with me as the only fan pawing at his body.
93. Rock HIM like a hurricane!
94. Do something scandalous with him just to watch the "Media Overkill." I may have to go to Germany to watch it though...
95. Find out if he still has this outfit.
96. If he still does and it fits, make him wear it!
97. Ditto for the yellow bumble bee pants!
98. Make him scream. Make him cry with all my heart and soul, 'cos I love him!
99. Tell him that he is #1 in my book.
100. Demonstrate to him the many ways that I can make it be fun, fun, fun to be #1 for him.
101. Repeat items 1 -100 as often as possible!
Happy Birthday, Mati!
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Monday, October 24, 2005
One more week of 'this or that?'
1. Diamonds or pearls? Cubic Zirconia, because I can't afford diamonds.
2. Paperback or hardcover books? Although it is easier to read hardcover books, I prefer paperback books because they are less expensive and easier to carry.
3. carpet or hardwood floors? Carpet feels so much nicer on bare toes during the cold winter months.
6. Fine point or medium point pens? It matters not to me, so long as it writes.
7. Clocks a little fast or on time? I like my clocks to be set correctly. There is nothing worse than rushing like a mad fool, thinking you are running late, then discovering that your clock was running fast!
8. Mahjong or spider solitaire (or other)? Pyramid solitaire is my favoprite.
9. Wall calendar or desk calendar? Wall calendar, there is enough clutter on my desk already. There is no room for a calendar there!
10. Survivor or The Amazing Race? Neither, I loathe reality shows. Make them go away!
10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)
1. Bang - Gorky Park 2. Sundown - Gordon Lightfoot 3. Old Man - Neil Young 4. My Sweet Lord - George Harrison 5. Dust In The Wind - The Scorpions 6. Your Wildest Dreams - The Moody Blues 7. In Trance - The Scorpions 8. Slang - Def Leppard 9. No Matter What - Def Leppard 10. The Same Thrill - The Scorpions
Song 1 makes the list for getting stuck on my mental loop due to something said in an online conversation.
Songs 2 - 4 were heard playing at Washington Crown Center Mall and Wheeling Island Casino.
Songs 5 - 7 were travel music.
Songs 8 and 9 are on the Def Leppard CD that I purchased on Friday.
Song 10 was being played by Media Player as I typed this post.
And now for the picture...
My new Christmas Pink Puppy from Victoria's Secret
Ain't he cute!
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Saturday, October 22, 2005
Tips For The Thrifty Shopper
Never set foot in a store that sells clothing when you are feeling cold.
You will be drawn to the warm fuzzy sweaters like a moth to a flame.
It is also not very wise to set foot in a candy store when you haven't eaten all day.
Heaven only knows what manner of tasty treats will find their way home with you.
Top 5 bands/artists that you can't get enough of and a song and/or album by each that you'd recommend to your fellow meme-ers.
1. The Scorpions, but you knew that, didn't you? The album you should buy is their latest, Unbreakable.
If you are familiar with their work in the 80s, you'll love this album that is a return to kick-ass metal rock.
2. The Moody Blues, no surprise there either! Since the Christmas season is rapidly approaching, I recommend that you give December a listen.
This is a Christmas album that contains tunes that delight even a confessed Scrooge such as myself. Everyone must love Don't Need A Reindeer!
3. Def Leppard, you guys probably knew that they'd make the list too! Their best album, IMHO is Hysteria.
I am prejudiced towards their earlier albums. I adored Steve Clark.
4. NicKlelback, Matthias likes them and so do I! Their newest release, All The Right Reasons is definitely a must-have.
My personal favorite song from this album is Follow You Home.
5. Neil Young, always a favorite of mine. Neil has tried so many different musical styles that it is difficult to chhose an album to recommend. To get a good feel for his early work, you should give Decade a listen.
This double disc set will give you a good feel for the music that Neil did in the first ten years of his career.
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
Wankers And Watermarks
It seems that Moody Blues fans are not the only ones who ignorantly scribble on photographs. Scorpions fans have jumped on the bandwagon of watermarks as well. It makes me sick to see photographs of Matthias or Klaus with some wanker's URL scribbled through some of their best parts!
The watermark on this one ran right through Mati's chest before I got my hands and photoshop program on it.
That's EVIL!
To make matters worse, the stupid little twit felt the need to put the subject's name in huge green letters at the bottom left of the photo.
EXCUSE ME YOU LITTLE BITCH! ANYONE VISITING A SCORPIONS WEBSITE IS BOUND TO KNOW WHO HE IS! WE DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING ASSISTANCE!
She did the same thing to Klaus
and Rudolf!
Doing things of this nature is a sin! It must be stopped. If you do not want to SHARE your photos undefiled, keep them to yourself! Rest assured that the day that I can get myself and my camera into a Scorpions concert, I will share all of my photos sans any ugly markings.
I've said this many times before, but obviously it bears repeating... "The photos you share online shoud be to give glory to the BAND, not the photographer!"
And while I'm ranting about wankers and watermarks, why the fuck do they put watermarks on screen captures...
and photos that are scanned from readily available sources?
You will see none on mine. It's not as though there aren't thousands of other people out there with the ability to digitally create the exact same images if they are so inclined.
