I was asked the dreaded question today. You know the one..."What are you doing for New Year's Eve?" ARRGH! I would love to be able to say that after work I'd be flitting off to Germany for a night of wild and passionate love making with Matthias Jabs, but that would be pure (or impure, depending on how you look at things) fantasy. What I Will Be doing on New Year's Eve I'll be sitting around at my mom's house watching that stupid ball in New York drop on TV, just like I've been doing every year for as long as I can remember. Ain't that just so damned exciting?! But wait...something will be different this year. Instead of having hamburgers with our fake champagne this year we will be having Buffalo chicken strips. However will I stand the additional excitement that this great change will bring?! Yes, I am just oozing sarcasm, and with good reason. Holidays suck! I'm sick of them. I'll be glad when the whole damned thing is over.
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Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Another Tiny Treasure Has Been Found!
All I have to say is: Holy mother of God! Just take it off, Matthias! PLEASE!!! What is the point of wearing a shirt, jacket, or whatever if you never fasten any of the buttons? Bring me great joy. Let me feast my eyes upon that gorgeous bod of yours! *pant* *pant* *drool*
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Saturday, December 27, 2003
A Little Poem Before I get started, I would like to dedicate this to the person who found my blog by searching for Matthias Jabs and wife. This should set him straight.
There once was a girl named Susanne. She had the most beautiful man. She didn't know How to keep him and so Now Matthias is free once again!
Don't ya just love limericks?!
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Thursday, December 25, 2003
My Christmas Rant! On this day of celebration, the "Closet Christian" feels the need to take a step out of her refuge. Let us all not forget that Christmas is not about gifts, Santa Claus, extravagant light displays, beautifully decorated trees, or even about chocolates and turkey! Christmas is about the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ some 2000 odd years ago. We must all keep this first and foremost in our hearts. The other stuff is great. I enjoy it as much as anyone, but it must not block out the true meaning of the holiday which is that on this day long ago the savior was borne into this world as a man. End of rant... To Matthias, Klaus, Rudolf, James, Ralph, my friends, family, and fellow Scorpions fans: I wish you a blessed and happy Christmas!
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I found this on Andrea's blog today. Right click and take this little wreath. Link back to the site you took it from. Send me an email if you do!
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Merry Christmas! Or whatever other holiday you're celebrating...
As promised, here are the cards I created for Christmas this year. Yes, I made a second one. I finally found a picture of Matthias that worked for the concept. It's such a shame that I didn't have a Santa hat in my clip art. I Really wanted to make a "Santa Klaus!"
Feel free to take these and use them for yourself next year. I'll surely be creating new ones.
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Sunday, December 21, 2003
Things That You Won't Find on This Blog! I must confess! The web counter on this page gives me certain information on my visitors. One of the little bits tells me how you got here, i.e. my email signature, a link from another page, or a search engine. I must admit that I am quite amused by the searches that uncover this page! So that you poor unfortunates who use them will not waste any time pouring over this page in the hope of finding something that just isn't here, I have decided to compile this list. 1. I cannot tell you what brand or gauge of strings Matthias Jabs or Rudolf Schenker use. What I can tell you is to check the liner notes of the Moment of Glory CD. There is a little bit there that says "If you want to try this at home." I believe that it lists the type of strings the guys use if not their gauge. On that matter, I would guess that they are either light or extra light as neither one of them seems to me to be the type who is into pain! 2. Sorry, I have never interviewed Klaus Meine or Matthias Jabs. Oh come now, If I got close enough to either one of them to do that I'd have him handcuffed to my bedposts right now and I'd certainly be doing something much more interesting than typing an entry in my blog! ;) 3. I don't sell cheap guitars. Sorry, I don't even believe in cheap guitars. But. if you are looking for a site that sells quality guitars at exceptionally low prices, I might be able to help you out. I bought my beloved "Rudolf" from Zz Sounds. Their prices are quite reasonable, they charge no sales tax to buyers outside New Jersey, and the shipping is FREE on many items. That just about covers the weird searches I've seen so far. I hope that I've been of service to you all. If you are interested in reading the rants and raves of a woman who lusts after Matthias Jabs and Klaus Meine, feel free to scroll onward. I DO have pictures. If not...well... good luck! You're gonna need it to find what you're looking for in the great heaps of dung turned up by search engines! :D
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Monday, December 15, 2003
I'm in a Mood to Rant! There is nothing in the world that hurts more than having old wounds reopened... Back in September, my uncle from Texas came to visit. He stopped at my parent's house while I was working, so I didn't get to see him. Not really a problem, since there was going to be a get together at my aunt's (who I also hadn't seen in ages, and was looking forward to seeing as well) house the next day... or so I thought. But what is this?! My mom tells me that it is just going to be a small get together and I'm just not invited. I was totally pissed about this at the time, especially since others who SUPPOSEDLY weren't invited either got to go. I silently seethed as mom went on and on about what went on there for a week afterwards. I was over it now, or so I thought until I had the misfortune of answering the phone at my mom's house today. It was my aforementioned uncle. Why was I not at the get together back in September, he wanted to know. I told him that I was told that I wasn't invited. That's silly, he says, of course I was. I felt like a great big pile of shit. I left the house in tears. Gee, thanks, mom! Why didn't you just admit that YOU didn't me to go?
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Thursday, December 11, 2003
Random Thoughts for Today
The world is full of oddities, some of them interesting and amusing, others just downright annoying. These are the oddities that have caught my attention today.
I've talked to a few of my friends about this one. Perhaps you have noticed this as well. It seems that the spam peddlers of the world are a bit confused. Each day when I clear out my inbox, I am destined to find several ads for products to enlarge my penis. My penis? Excuse me, I am a woman. Don't have one. Don't want one either... My male friends, on the other hand, seem to get all of the breast enlargement ads. Are we supposed to recommend these products to our significant others? Oh, I bet that would go over REALLY well!
Ethics...Management seems to have none yet they have the nerve to post a list of rules regarding the acceptance of Christmas gifts from our customers. Once again the first rule on the list states that we should not accept any cash gifts. Why? They seem to think that the general public will view this as some sort of bribe. Bribe? To do what? Do they think that people are paying us off to throw their bills in the river or something? I don't think so.
Why is it that in this age of rapid communication that it took four months for me to get my first mailing from the Guitar Center? During that four month period I missed two private sales because I didn't have the special card to get the discount. During that time period I also bought two guitars...elsewhere. I guess it's their loss, though. Perhaps they can redeem themselves. I really would like to get myself a twelve string Strat. Maybe if I get enough of those unethical cash gifts for Christmas....
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Tuesday, December 09, 2003
It Has Begun! I got my very first Christmas gift today. Yippee! Finally, I feel appreciated. It was a candle (vanilla scented), a Christmas ornament, and a tiny stuffed dog. It was from the same people who manage to be the first to give me a gift every year. Thanks, Audrey and Renee! Quit picking on my man, Klaus!!! What is going on here? Between Tracy and a certain other person who knows who she is, I have heard more Klaus bashing in the past two days than I can handle! This must stop immediately! Come on guys, just look at those big blue eyes. How could you possibly resist him?
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Monday, December 08, 2003
Rants and Raves for Today (Mostly Rants) Rant #1: Censorship and censors, need I say more. These people all use the same excuse for their actions, "We want to keep our site, message board or whatever a family friendly place." Sounds reasonable enough until you consider one thing. Unless those little innocents that they're trying to protect have never left the watchful eyes of their soccer moms, they've heard and seen multitudes of nasty words, etc. This leaves only children five years of age or younger to be protected. I seriously doubt that there are that many four year olds out there surfing the web, so why bother? As for adults who are offended by such things, they know how to leave said offensive place and not come back. It's as simple as that! To quote a fellow blogger...Censorship sucks! Rant #2: The idiot who said that Don't Need a Reindeer is the worst Christmas song ever written. It's cute. It's catchy, and I happen to like it! If you really want to hear the worst Christmas song ever written, try listening to Blue Christmas. YUCK! Rant #3: That stupid ad box on the top of this page! Get those damned postal ads off there immediately! I have enough work to do. Don't click on them...PLEASE! I want my guitar ads back! Stratocaster, Telecasters...get the hint? My single, lonely rave: I managed to make the most adorable Scorpion themed Christmas e-card today. If you want to see it you're just going to have to wait. If you're on my friends list you'll be getting one sometime this month. If not, I'll probably display it here on Christmas Eve.
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Saturday, December 06, 2003
Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow. Oh, no! Yes, we are having our first true snowfall today, the kind with accumulation. There are a couple of inches out there right now. It looks so pretty and Christmasy! Why does it have to be so bloody treacherous to drive on it? I've gotta go to work in the morning. Fat chance of the road crews rushing to clean on Friday night/Saturday morning! I wish that I could sit at home and enjoy its prettiness, but the USPS owns my soul. I used to be "The Christmas Cookie Queen" before I had this job. I made all sorts of yummy cookies. My house was decorated inside and out. Now I am lucky if I get my tree up before Christmas Eve! I have gone from cookie queen to super Grinch! Christmas music makes me cringe. The only Christmas album I can tolerate is the Moody Blues' December> Idea! The Scorpions should do a Christmas album!!! I think it would be quite interesting. Silent Night and O Christmas Tree...with their original German lyrics! And just to give me the giggles, Winter Wonderland. Hehehe! I can hear Klaus singing it already!: Sleigh bells ring Are you Listening? In the lane Snow is glistening A beautiful sight We're happy tonight Valking in a Vinter Vonderland!
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Friday, December 05, 2003
Argh! I had to sit through a stupid middle school Christmas chorus concert today. I really think that our school needs to invest a bit more in the music program. A good place to start would be hiring a chorus teacher with a brain. This woman had all of the kids wear black and white. Perhaps she should have called the program "A Very Generic Christmas." She should have been more specific...If they had all been wearing, let's say black pants and white turtlenecks, they would have looked good. As it was, most of the kids looked rather scruffy. THEN...this ignorant woman introduces a song and says that venite adoremus dominum means joy to the world. IT DOES NOT!! It means Come let us adore him! Stupid bitch, keep your ignorance to yourself. To add to the horror, she couldn't even keep the kids from going flat by the end of every song. I'm sure that those kids (mine is one of them) could have looked and sounded good if they had a decent teacher. As it was, it was sheer torture! Yes...I'm highly critical. I know. But if you're not going to do something well, I really don't think you should be doing it at all! Oooo...let's not forget the other horror of all school produced shows, the parents. They sit there with their cameras and camcorders as though this is some greatly momentous event. Some of them even brought their kids giant bouquets of flowers. Somebody really needs to give these people a nickel to buy themselves lives of their own.
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Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Another Thing That Drives Me Crazy During the Holiday Season And the rest of the year, too!
I know that you've seen them, those stupid "A Diamond Is Forever" commercials. You know, the ones where the guy gives the girl some ridiculously expensive piece of jewelry and sends her into fits of orgasmic pleasure. In the last one that I saw it was a seven thousand dollar triple diamond ring. Maybe I'm strange, but if anyone spent that kind of money on a stupid piece of jewelry for me, I'd kick his ass! What a waste of good money! If a guy really wants to spend that kind of money one me, he can buy me a Gibson Explorer and (ooo...I just discovered one of these) a 12 string Strat! Heck, he could even get me a pretty Diamonique ring set in 18K gold from QVC to go along with them and still have plenty of that 7K left over. This is, of course, a moot point. I know no one who has that kind of money to throw away...
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Monday, December 01, 2003
Happy F***ing Holidays!
Yes, the good old holiday season has started, on the wrong foot, as usual. Let's see. Who is involved in this conspiracy to assure that my holidays are as miserable as possible. The USPS... I suppose that it goes without saying that the post office is one of the most miserable places in the world to be working at this time of year. Parcels a-plenty! You know that it really is no fun at all to have to carry that fifty pound exercise machine that you bought your wife for Christmas to your door in a blinding snowstorm! And you people who get all of those huge packages from J C Penney... GO TO THE FREAKING MALL!!!! This is the Pittsurgh area. There are malls all over the place and every damned one of them has a J C Penney. My Boss...Yes, Mike is a really nice guy, one of the nicest postmasters that we've ever had, but even he is doing his part to assure my misery this holiday season. Allow me to explain. I have eight days of annual leave left this year. This is enough that I should not have to work on Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving for those of you not in postal or retail work) or the week after Christmas. Unfortunately I was dragging all of those lovely parcels to people's doors on Black Friday and I'll be swimming in tax forms the week after Christmas. Why? I have no sub. Our contract says that each full time rural carrier is supposed to have his/her own sub regardless of route classification, but in the nearly six years that I have had this position I have never had a sub to call my own. Yes, it IS a six day route with no guaranteed days each pay period, but heck, most of us started out that way. I find it hard to believe that no one wants to be my sub, especially since I've not once seen them call anyone in for an interview for the position! Verizon...Due to Stargate's bankruptcy, all of their DSL accounts have to be switched over to Earthlink by December first. This in itself is not a bad thing. The problem lies with the fact that Verizon, our telephone carrier, screws up the syncing for the DSL every time that a new connection is made. They claim that they will have the line ready on Wednesday, and I put the emphasis on the word claim. Where does this leave me, the sole owner of an unlimited dial-up account until (hopefully) then? Sharing my internet connection with three other people with only one of us being able to go online at any given time. ARGH! For all of the forementioned people, I have created a new acronym. If you are offended by foul language, read no further. I feel the need to spell this one out to the letter. My Acronym F. O. A. D. - Fuck Off And Die!!! Ah... That felt good. I sure do hope that stupid Google ad bar doesn't put Verizon ads in their little ad box as a result of this post. That would be just too ironic.
